Sunday, October 23, 2011

Kitchen Nightmares - Part Trois

Luckily, I DO NOT take myself too seriously.  I'm smart enough to know when to wave the white flag.  Some things I cook, bake or set atop flame just aren't blog worthy.  My first experience with personal kitchen disaster was before I got married.  I thought I was going to make my man a lovely Asian dinner - chop suey or something in that aisle of the grocery store.  I didn't have a clue much beyond grilled cheese and tomato soup (one of my faves by the way).  However, I set forth down the path of Asian delights.  One fatal flaw, was not draining the liquid from the can of bean sprouts.  Speaking of fatal flaws - yes, I said can of bean sprouts.  It was the most heinous meal I had ever attempted.  To this day, my husband and I laugh about it. 

My second kitchen (deck) nightmare involved a new grill, rotisserie and pork loin that I was going to (again) cause my husband to think that I was the next Bobby Flay. Yep, that's right - grillin' and chillin'.  In fact, I put the pork loin on the grill and we all proceeded to lounge in the pool.  Maybe a little too much chillin'...mixed with too much TwoBuckChuck.  Four hours later, the pork loin was in flames, the rotisserie was destroyed and I was making grilled cheese.  Good thing it's one of my faves ;)

This weekend, I had big plans.  Comfort food, home cookin', dogo (domestic goddess) in action.  My daughter is my new muse.  She likes comfort food and boy was I going to deliver.  I was certain that last night's chicken casserole was going to knock her socks off.  When I was a teenager, I remember people watching a movie called Faces of Death.  Her reaction was more like Faces of Disgust.  I saw more new looks on her face this weekend that I cared to count.  Her first bite involved an artichoke heart that had "something sharp in it".  Her second bite involved rice with a huge BLOB of too much seasoning.  That was enough for her.  Tonight, I intended to win back her confidence by baking her favorite dessert.  A lovely, creamy New York style cheesecake.  She came home from choir practice eager to take the first bite...and AGAIN!  Faces of Disgust.  Not wanting to hurt me she said, "mom, would you like this piece?".  However, her face gave her away.  I said "what's wrong?"....she asked me to taste it.  WTH!!!  I couldn't chase that taste from my mouth quick enough.  The eggs looked like they turned into tapioca.  The graham cracker crumbs had expired in May of 2010.  Here's to cleaning out the lazy susan!  We promptly ripped open a bag of Betty Crocker peanut butter cookies.  2 ingredients and 10 minutes later, we had warm deliciousness chased by cold organic milk to wipe away the remnants of my mistakes. 

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant! I'm not sure how you do it, but thank G*d you can laugh at life. I actually thought the casserole was delicious.